You guys dont know this little tidbit (or maybe you do?), but I work half days for two Saturdays out of the month. And this past Saturday was one of those lucky days. Not. So anywho, I come in and I'm informed that Mrs. Lee, myself and Mr. K (gag me. please.) would be going to another school to check out an English classroom and get ideas about how we wanted our own classroom to look. Sigh. That means, unfortunately, more time spent with Mr. K. So, on the ride to the other school, theres this GNARLY fucking smell that comes out of nowhere. No, seriously. I could tell that it wasnt the outside coming into the car, it was totally something INSIDE making serious rounds through the car. I was sitting in the front seat with Mrs. Lee and Mr. K was in the back. I looked at Mrs. Lee and then turned around slowly to look at Mr. K. I knew in my heart that it was him, I could practically smell the kimchi and Hite beer he had the previous night for dinner. I was sooo pissed and extra grossed out. It smelled like someone had let a fucking nuclear bomb of garbage drop in the car. And Mrs. Lee didnt say anything. No one did.
So, we get to the school and Mr. K decided he wasnt ready to go in out of the chilly weather because he wanted to smoke first. And he wanted Mrs. L and I to keep him company. Uh, no. I told Mrs. Lee that I one) had a cold and didnt want to make it worse and two) cigarette smoke makes me sick. We went inside after I made it clear I wasnt staying outside to chat while Mr. K smoked. We go into the school and meet the vice principal, who is very cool and fluent in English, and the schools Korean English teacher. Unfortunately, the native English teacher isnt in because, ahem, its Saturday and she doesnt have to work. Bastards.
I see the class and its really cool and Mr. K is only annoying me minimally (he points to pictures of obvious things like London and Martin Luther King and feels the need to TELL me what the picture is like I dont know), when they somehow get on the topic of nationality. The native teacher at the middle school I visited is Chinese Canadian, and they start having a rapid-fire Korean conversation. Then the Korean English teacher turns to me and says "Are your parents African?" Mrs. Lee says, "No! Shes Mexican!" and Mr. K goes, "No, she China too!" WTF? At this point, I am pissed despite my best efforts not to take it personally. I say, "No. I'm BLACK and AMERICAN. A BLACK AMERICAN." It gets quiet after that, and no more mention is made of my origins (which are pretty clear to me- I'm black and, ahem, clearly American based on the accent) or nationality. 11 months and counting guys.

Still waiting for that positive post.

Okay, so its been a minute since my last post, so theres some stuff I can update yall on. For one: Happy Belated Fucking Thanksgiving, you lucky bastards! Hahaha. I'll be celebrating in Korea with a couple of Americans at TGIFridays. WTF did they import the worst American restaurant chains here? They love Dunkin Donuts (yuck), Baskin Robbins (ewww-- ever hear of Coldstones?), Kentucky Fried Chicken (I should mention when I first taken out on an outing to a mall here by my kind hosts we saw a billion KFCs. One of the Korean teachers said to me, "I know youre happy there's a KFC here, right?" Uh, no honey. I wont take that as a insult, either even though it was on the TIP of my tongue to say, "Oh cause I'm black I gotta like fried chicken?" Whoops.) There are KFCs, Baskin Robbins and D.D on almost every corner. Right beside the McDonalds...sigh.
So, it hasnt all been bad. On the bright side, my principal has started getting the message and leaving me the fuck alone. However, he still burps and farts in the presence of myself and other teachers. And since he is the ONLY Korean person I've met who does this, I will choose to assume that this is HIS own personal quirk and not one of Korean men in general. That being said, he is still a nasty ass fucker.
My third week of school is going pretty well. In case ya'll didnt know, I teach 13-16 year olds. Teenagers are challenges; theyre either really angsty or too talkative or have smart ass mouths. They just didnt know that I will get with their asses. Now they do. =) And once they found out I was 22, it got a little awkward. So, the boys like to flirt, a little too much. Whenever I go into the upper-level classes, with the 16 year olds, they never fail to call out "Can I have your number?" WTF? I smile and say, "Yeah, honey you can once you hold an all-English conversation on the phone." The lead teacher in my office had to actually ban 3rd grade (english equivalent of 10th grade) boys from the office because they pile up in here and want to talk during all the breaks... one-- very embarassing. two-- annoying as well. She informed me that it would wear off once all the students get used to me, which hopefully will happen soon cause its mortifying being under all this scrutiny.
Another thing you guys may find amusing. The issue of my clothes...or more specifically my BODY. So, the other day I wore a v-neck sweater to school, with a camisole underneath and wide legged jeans and ballet flats. It was possibly the most vanilla, safe and professional outfit ever. Nothing was showing that wasnt supposed to be showing. I guess a minor display of collarbone is just too much, because during the second hour, Mrs. Lee came up to me and said it might be too 'provocative' for some of the students. WTF??? I see teachers come to school with skirts up to their thighs, and a V-NECK SWEATER is provocative. One, where did she pull that word from? I didnt know she had the word 'provocative' in her arsenal of limited English. Two, its offensive that someone would insinuate that I'm being less then professional at work. Bastards. But I brushed it off, cause clearly there are standards here that are different from in America. Whatever.
The next day, I wear jeans, ballet flats and a TURTLENECK. Yes, the turtle neck was fitted, but it wasnt vulgar. It was a plain old, standard H&M turtleneck. Again, after lunch, Mrs. Lee came up to me and said "Everything you wear is so provocative! (giggle, giggle) I dont know what to do! (giggle, giggle)" Okay, bitch, so now I'm offended. I said to her, "I'm completely covered, from head to toe... Mrs. W (another teacher) is wearing almost the exact same thing. I mean, whats wrong with my outfit?" She told me, "American women are made so differently from Korean women. We are very slight people, so we dont fill out clothes like you."

Cultural sidenote: This is a very frank country. Korean people will say nearly anything to you and ask you any question that they want. Its not considered rude here, no matter how Westerners take it.

I knew that this...frankness was a cultural difference, but I couldnt help but be pissed. I have hips and boobs and a considerable ass (compared to the women here) and I cant help the way my clothes fucking fit. Whew. I was sooooooo mad. I just said, "I cant help the way my body is, and all the clothes I bought with me are considered appropriate so unless the school is willing to advance my pay and take me shopping I cant do anything about it." She laughed and said, "No, its no problem." Yeah, I know and if it WERE a problem, it wouldnt be mine.

Someone please tell me to loosen up and not get so defensive. Please. =)

PS- I'm still waiting to deliver a POSITIVE post to you guys.

Oh yeah, so apparently there ARE 52 weeks in a year, my bad. =P

If this seems like a long “I Hate You” letter to my boss, its not. Its more like a… “You Annoy the Shit Out of Me” letter.
We all know that I am not overly fond of the principal after the ill-fated noriba (karaoke) debacle, and I could have used a nice break from the man in order to at least tolerate him better. He apparently cannot read the finer points of body language because he didn’t get that memo.
Friday was a welcome day, it ended a week where I taught 23 classes, plus 2 after school conversational English courses, and I needed a break. One of the teachers even commented that I looked exhausted and needed to go home and rest. So, I was not happy when the Principal dragged his ass to the office I am stationed in and informed me that I would be teaching a conversation class for teachers that day, after school.
I must have looked confused because he called Mrs. Lee from her office and told her that she and I would be required to stay after school and teach this class. Mrs. Lee looked as frustrated as I did, she being very busy and having a family, at having this asshole tell us this on the SAME DAY he wanted the class to be taught. I was a) tired as hell, b) totally unprepared to teach this course and c) pissed off. Not a good combo for a teaching.
So, after school I show up and there are three people in the class, the Principal included and I have nothing prepared for them to do. He then comes up to the board and write some shit down like “I am because you are” and asks me what it means in English. WTF? I wasn’t a philosophy major, so wtf? I say I’m sure it has a lot of different meanings, because it’s a popular proverb and try to give my understanding which was apparently unsatisfactory because he got up and explained what it meant in Korean and then tried to give me some half-ass Korean lessons. One, why would you ask me what it meant if you already knew the answer? Two, the last time I checked your English was almost nonexistent so when did you become the instructor? Mrs. Lee told me that he wanted to be “my Korean teacher” and I’m thinking “Isnt this an English conversation course????” cause I am way to tired to try to learn Korean from someone who cant string three words of English together and happens to greatly irritate me. I muddle my way through the class, during which the Principal assumes the role of English instructor, where he over-talks me and tries to teach English in Korean. Eventually, I sit down and clean my nails because he has not shut up since I walked in the door and I cant understand a word he’s saying.

Side Note: I understand that this is my boss. I should have the greatest professional respect for this person, regardless of my personal feelings. He clearly is well-informed if he was hired to run a school, so there is a lot to be said about that. However, that does not mean that I have to like him. In fact, I have made it clear that --for whatever reason-- I instinctually dislike him. But I try to remain respectful and as pleasant as possible in the workplace, so don’t think I am a total bitch about him. I do want to keep my job, after all. I realize that seeing him outside of the workplace is a bad idea being that he makes me uncomfortable and irritable and those are emotions that are, frankly, hard for me to hide, so this is a good learning experience for me. Try. To. Be. An. Adult. Lacey.

So, this weekend Mrs. Lee and her husband took me to Suwon Castle, which was gorgeous. It was a wall and fortress built in the 18th century that surrounds the city of Suwon. Apparently, it came in handy for when the Chinese decided they wanted to try and sack the region. It also had a sick waterfall, the only of its kind, that has water gushing through natural stones into a man-made reservoir. It was tres cool and quite beautiful.
I was not so fortunate when it came to my company. I was pleased that Mrs. Lee and her husband wanted to take me, but then the principal of the school invited himself and I was less then happy about it. I swear, I really want to like this man-- I mean, he IS my boss for the next 50+ weeks, but I cant seem to. I literally have to remind myself, “Lacey, be nice. Be polite. Don’t look annoyed.” And I am annoyed, and yall know I don’t hide my annoyance or dislike too well. Sigh. I try, really, but it takes more effort then I usually like to give.
He really just skeeves me out. Intellectually, I know he’s not a pervert, but my instincts are like “He’s weird.” So anywho, he came along and demanded that everything be translated and then proposed to lead the tour for me, even though he doesn’t speak a lick of English. So we went to lunch, where again he drank waaay to much for it to be 11:30 am. Remember when I went through that burping phase? Arent we all happy I outgrew that??? Well, my principal is still going through said phase and he’s sixty, give or take a few years. Let me set the scene:
I am sitting down, about to start eating my meal when he lets out this huge fucking beer burp over the dinner table. It got really silent and I looked up at him like, Are you fucking kidding me? Mrs. Lee and her husband just looked down at their food apologetically, like they were embarrassed. Mr. Principal just grinned at me ands proceeded to let out another burp over the food. I imagined whatever nastiness was in his mouth hovering over my food and then settling down on it and it ruined any appetite I may have had.
And then he took issue with the fact that I didn’t want to drink liquor in the late morning time with my much older boss and co-worker. He tried to liquor me up, but I said a firm “NO THANK YOU” and poured myself some Coke. That didn’t stop him from making the whole table do several rounds of “Cheers.” If we didn’t do it loudly enough or in complete sync, he made everyone do it over again. Then he made Mrs. Lee ask me what “Cheers” meant and why we say it. How the hell am I supposed to know? I just said it meant have cheerful day, which everyone seemed to accept as true, thank God.
At this point, my irritation was apparent because Mr. Lee was trying to distract the principal from further annoying me and Mrs. Lee leaned over and whispered, “Our principal is a very nice, smart man. He is so excited to learn English!” I wanted to whisper back, “I’m sure he is, but its too bad I cant stand to be around him long enough to teach him!”
So, we’re at this beautiful castle and touring the wall and Mr. P is STILL burping. Its those loud, beer-y burps too that sound wet and nasty. And as I’m walking, I swear I hear him let out a loud fart. At this point, I don’t think theres anything he can do to repulse me further, and then Mrs. Lee tells me that Mr. P would like to do this once a month with me if possible. I ask, “Do what?” She says, “Spend the day on the weekend with you.”
I think of my sanity and say politely, “Well, I don’t know what my weekends are going to look like, what with work and spending time with some of the native English speakers I’ve met so I cant say that I will be able to.” She smiles and nods, and I assume that she understands this is an affirmative “Hell. No.”
On to better, tolerable topics. Lol. I spoke to H for like the first time in forever on Friday. It was good to hear how he’s doing, which is very well. The job interview in Santa B was awesome and one of the schools there contacted him for a teaching position too. It looks like H will be bicoastal soon. He said he loves Cali and could picture himself living there. I could too; he’s so mellow and laid-back I’m surprised he didn’t think of moving there before now…
So, yeah then he said that he needs to give his passport more use and said he wants to come visit, which would be awesome. I could soooo use the company, but he wouldn’t be able to come until the spring or summer and we all know how much can change by then so I’m not counting on it.
I still miss him, but I’m not sure in which capacity I should miss him in. Right now…I miss him in all ways. As a friend, a person, an adviser, a boyfriend, a kisser ( ;-), a punching bag, someone who makes me laugh. But, I really feel like this is going to be good for both of us to move past whatever’s happen and really look to the future with other people. I know that we’re closing the chapter that involved one another and I could hear the distance on the phone. There were these pauses that weren’t there before, had never been there, and we couldn’t seem to fill them with anything. Those pauses will eventually turn from seconds into minutes and then into hours and days and then weeks and months. That’s not me being morbid, just realistic. I feel it in my bones.
Song(s) of the day: I Hate Everyone, by Get Set Go & Starts With Goodbye, by Carrie Underwood

Hey guys!!! I miss you much! Do not despair, I only have…59 weeks and counting until I’m back Stateside. So…wanna hear a funny story at my expense????
Okay, so here’s one of the more embarrassing incidents to happen to me in recent memory. Yesterday afternoon, I was invited by my principal and co-workers out to a traditional Korean dinner. I was tired, but I didn’t want to say “No” and get started on the wrong foot, especially when I found out it was in my honor… Right, I definitely was not looking forward to it. I am still dealing with the effects of jet lag, so when I was invited I thought "Well, okay I'm exhausted but a nice quiet dinner with my co-workers would be nice..." Wrong. LOL.
So, I rode to the restaurant with a couple of other teachers and they’re so sweet and mellow, so I’m expecting a rather quiet reserved night. I was apparently misinformed about Korean celebrations, cause these biyatches throw down. One, I was shocked by how much alcohol these middle aged people consume during the work week. I've seen frat boys during homecoming drink less then my principal, alone, last night. And then he (Mr. Q, the principal) kept making me take fucking shots with him! He would fill up the shot glass and go “Cheers!” Finally I said, I can only shoot Coke or water for the rest of the night. If I had known what was to come, I probably would have continued drinking until I passed out. Anywho, you guys know I dont mind going out, drinking some and dancing...just not with my much older co-workers the night before I have to be work at 8 am.
So...you may think thats the worst, but it gets richer. After dinner, I was informed that its tradition to go to karaoke bars after dinner. Only problem being I. Dont. Sing. Especially in front of strangers. Unless under threat of death, dismemberment or more alcohol then I am legally able to consume. That didn’t stop anyone, cause apparently everyone here is a Korean Karaoke Champion. So, I’m sitting in a karaoke bar, jet-lagged, tipsy and surrounded by old Korean teachers (90% of whom are wasted) singing a) Celine Dion, b) Rod Stewart or c) any random Korean song that I’ve never heard and cannot understand. I becomes clear to me that I am out of my element and these people expect me to sing as well. My principal and his old ass friends from high school (one of whom was a police officer) were dancing and gyrating crazily while singing. The police officer was really wasted and out of line. I mean, it looked like he was auditioning for Chippendale’s Dance Squad. He was dancing on some of the women teachers and they would move across the room, not to subtly, and he would drunkenly follow. It was amusing until I became the focus.
I hid for as long I could in a corner, but I was singled out, a microphone put in my fist and pulled to the middle of the damn room. I muddled my way through a Britney Spears song, during which I made the real Britney sound like Whitney Houston with my warbling. LOL. So I quickly found my seat and the police officer shows up again! He was dancing around like I've never seen...and then he proceeded to scoop me from my corner I was huddled in and danced cheek to cheek with me so I could smell his rancid beer breath. I was looking me all in my face, and I KNOW my face looked pissed off, but he was too trashed to noticed. Then, he said "Do you want to meet tomorrow night?" Granted, there is a language barrier, so I cant be 100% certain thats what he said, but I am 99% certain. I pretended not to hear his proposition and quickly told my ride how tired I was. We left about 10 minutes later. And not a MOMENT too soon.
PS- So my principal just came into my office. Apparently, he’s taken quite a shine to me and he wants to learn English too. Unfortunately, I feel weird around him because I saw his antics last night. AND he still smells like liquor…sigh. This year just got a little longer….

Okay, so I'm obviously here in Korea, still experiencing Week 1. So far, everyone has been ultra-kind and friendly and shiz, which is awesome. But, honestly, its a bit lonely without anyone to speak fast English too on a daily basis or someone who is as foreign here as I am. I have met one guy at the Immigration office, LH, who was very cool and I immediately decided he would be my friend whether he wanted to or not. =) LH is from Middle America, one of those states you tend to forget exist unless you meet someone from them, and is small and of another persuasion if you catch my point. We've been exchanging emails throughout the school day and I think we're gonna be real friends at some point in the next year, which is awesome. Since he's only been here a month longer then me, we've still got to work out the bus stuff (Lord help me, but I will be reduced to taking the Suicide Express aka the Korean Public Transpo system).
I have made up in my mind to enjoy this experience even with the culture shock because, ultimately, I WILL be here for a year so I am going to make this a kick ass one. I know that I will likely make a fool out of myself ordering food, grocery shopping, etc. but thats a necessary evil in figuring out a new country and culture. Bring. It. On. I promised myself by the second week here, I would have gone to the grocery store by myself and also ordered take out by myself too. I'm ready to conquer Korea. LOL. I just hope its ready for me.
Okay, so I made the mistake of posting on the message board of a facebook group, asking if anyone was in Suwon, the area I'm in, and this guy emails me like 2 minutes later. He seemed cool, but then I find out that he wont even BE in Korea until January and then he's going to be like four hours away. I wanted to ask him what was the purpose of his email, but I didnt. I answered his questions and he KEEPS emailing me. And he's one of the obnoxious emailers...every email starts out with "WOW! COOL! AMAZING! YOU'RE KIDDING!" I'm trying to find the heart to tell him that all caps denotes over-enthusiasm, whick denotes "irritating", or atleast in my book. Sigh.
Okay, so I wont be able to blog over the weekend, as I'm not connected to the Internet in my apt, but Monday I'll def be spilling about my, likely, boring weekend. Love all!

Love forever Jay, Ni, Ju, Jor...

11.07.2008
Still US bound: Brief break between flights
Right now I’m sitting in San Francisco’s airport, about to board a flight that will completely remove me from any familiarity for the next year. I am scared shitless. But not enough to actually regret my decision; I always knew that leaving would be hard, adjusting to a new culture would be challenging, but I completely believe it will be worth any complications or trouble it may cause. I prefer to be optimistic about the whole idea, although waiting for a flight to carry you thousands of miles away from home tends to put a damper on any optimism.

11.09.08
Mood: Very overwhelmed, somewhat lonely
Opinion of the day: Korean drivers make New York cabbies look like driving instructors. Turn signals, staying in one lane and courtesy are completely optional here.
I got in to Seoul yesterday night, after nearly 24 freaking hours of flying. My body hurts, I’m suffering from acute jet-lag and I spent the 14 hour flight to Korea watching Get Smart 3 times in a row and occasionally dozing off. My flight did have some Americans (white and black), but mostly Asians on board. Honestly, I was hoping to sit next to a younger native English speaker so that I could exchange information and have an abroad-buddy from the jump of the trip. Not so. LOL. The Korean airport was surprisingly not hard to navigate (San Francisco has the most retarded international airport ever. I couldn’t find shit and I spoke the native language. Go figure); I just followed all the white folks to what I assumed was customs and then baggage claim.
The school sent a very… colorful cab driver to pick me up from the airport. His English was sparse and my Korean nonexistent, so we communicated via hand gestures and speaking loudly (as if volume helps comprehension). The airline “left” one of my bags behind, so I am essentially clothes-less right now besides what I wore on the flight and a few extra sweaters that I had half a mind to put into my carry-on. Sigh. My first day of teaching will likely to place in Pink-label sweat pants and a cardigan.
Brightside of the trip thus far: The family who is essentially hosting me are the Lees and are the sweetest people ever. Mrs. Lee stocked the refrigerator for my arrival and they have been super helpful. Mrs. Lee is one of the English teachers at the school, which is a bit surprising because her English isn’t that great. Good, but not great. I guess that’s the purpose I serve is to help her help the students. Also disturbing: Mrs. Lee told me that her she and her students don’t like speaking in English. Hello, don’t you teach English? This does not bode too well with me. Rosetta Stone will be my friend.
Mrs. Lee said that the other school she works at has a native English teacher and she will introduce to me to them sometime in the next week. This person has no idea what’s about to hit them, cause I will be on their ass like none other. They will be my friend, whether they like it or not. =) I need someone fluent in English to explain everything to me, cause although the Lees gave it their best shot, I really don’t understand a lot of what they’re saying. Sad, but very true.
We went to the shopping mall today, where I was repeatedly stared at by almost everyone. I was expecting that, but it doesn’t make it any less unnerving. The mall was tres cool and I soon as I can figure out how to use won and get their without getting lost in a Korean ghetto I will go back. Maybe with my soon-to-be English-speaking friend? Hopefully they know how to get along better then I do….
BTW-- Mortifying incident at Customs…apparently tampons aren’t that well known here. Upon checking my bags for illegal substances, the Customs agent found my Tampax Pearls nestled discreetly in the side of my bag and didn’t know what the hell he was looking at. He pulled one out of the box, examined it closely enough to read a manufacturer’s number if he so desired. Eventually I got tired of the scrutiny and said loudly “THEY’RE TAMPONS” before he decided to call over another agent and investigate Blood Gate further. A lady agent took pity on my purple-hued face and said something into Korean to the man and he calmly replaced my tampons. If only my pride were equally able to so easily replaced.

Nov. 10, 2008
Morning: G. Middle School
First day of school! My nerves were almost as bad as my real first day of high school…Basically, imagine walking into a new school, where no one looks remotely like you and doesn’t speak your language. First day of high school on acid, pretty much. The kids are redeemably adorable for any discomfort that I am feeling. They all bow at my when they see me, which is so cute its ridiculous. I am still trying to get used to the proper way to greet everyone, cause there is propriety involved in every activity, according to age, class, etc. Some of it seems, frankly, unnecessary, but this is their country and I’m just a cash leech here so I’ll follow their rules. Well, as best as possible anyway… I havent had a full day here yet, so I cant report too much that I haven’t experienced.
BTW-- Being that I havent received my bag with all my clothes in it, my first day of class is going to be spent in an American Apparel T-shirt emblazoned with the Simpsons, leggings and ballet flats. I am a classy broad, arent I? Heheheee. The vice principal and principal seemingly didn’t see the humor in the situation that I did. My crazy American sense of humor, maybe? Dunno.

A little later….
Ok, so basically I’m chilling out in my office which I share with Mrs. Lee while the other Korean English teachers prep their classes for my impending arrival in their midst. So far, kids have gathered outside the office door, staring in and smiling waving or saying “Hello!!” very loudly and enthusiastically. Its so charming I cant even take it seriously. ;-) One students even jumped 5 freaking feet in the air to glance into the unusually high windows at me once Mrs. Lee closed the door. LOL. Weird, but oddly flattering. I may have a complex once I get back to America at this rate (J/K! Well, at least I think so). Being here also makes very clear that I need to learn Korean, cause its retarded that I cant even communicate with anyone except for the English teachers, and them on a superficial level cause most of the their English ain’t great. And clearly neither is mine. The one person who seems to have the best grasp of English is the head of the dept., a youngish pretty teacher who heads the department and told me to call her “Alison.” Honestly, Alison is likely the only name I’ll remember this week, cause everyone else gave me Korean names which have a billion syllables and pauses. Til I learn, I’ll smile and bow. Hhehehee. Okay, I’ll stop being tedious and write after the day is over and I have more perspective on my new school.

I just said bye to my sister and my niece and nephews and I balled my eyes out on her shoulder. She cried on mine too, so we're even. =) My sister and I are very, very close even though we're so different and I know its going to be tough going without her to call anytime I need advice or see her and yell at her (or vice versa). I'm really overwhelmed right now by what I've chosen to take on, but I have a feeling it will get better once I'm actually in Korea and have no chance to second-think everything. I dont even want to THINK about tomorrow and telling my mom goodbye. Too, too hard. I'm now shelving my feelings to deal with in Korea, by myself. =( Was I crazy to do this? Its too soon to tell right now, but they say anything that's worth it don't come easy. I hope so.

BTW- Spoke to H. on election day. Good convo, but we didnt acknowledge my leaving or his possibly moving across the country for a job. Problems cease to exist in our world right now-- we have enough to deal with separately, I guess. Still miss him. I wonder is he misses me too or if he's happy he can finally take time to move on without my over his shoulder? Hmmmm....

So, I'm gonna be using initials for this, so that all the innocent (and myself) will be protected. LOL. Besides, my social life would probably suck if people knew for certain I was talking about them. Anywho, today was like, the REAL goodbye for H. and I. H. is headed to Santa Barbara to check out a job opportunity tomorrow and will be gone until Saturday. Which means, I wont get to see him for take-off or anything. We had goodbye breakfast (and lunch) and basically spent the day together doing nothing and everything. =) Good times. All day, I had the ominous feeling that I would never see him again and told him so. He gave me this really intense look and said "That would make me sad if that happened." But he didnt say "Of course we will, dont be stupid." Or something that would deny my feeling. Cause I think he felt the same way too. =( In a way it seems inevitable that this would happen, only that we were delaying it for a while. Actually, it hasnt hit me yet that I will likely never lay eyes on H. again and probably wont until I'm in Korea. So I will not only be battling culture shock and homesickness but a break-up of sorts too. I'm a sad, sad case.

Song of the Day:
Tread Water, Sara Bareilles

Ja,Ni,Ju, Jor in my heart always